He grew up in the "Hood" where charred win city thắng lợi remnants from the Watts riots in the 90's still stand as scars.
Yet he is one of the youngest Emergency doctors in Southern California.
Many single mothers with children can only focus on surviving day by day, as did I, wondering if the emotional and financial toil would ever end.
Yet he was the 2nd African American resident in the twenty-five year history of UC Davis Medical School to enter the Emergency Residency program.
He's my oldest son, Dr. Emel--- the first doctor in the family.
Somewhere along my journey, I heard "Nothing good comes out of the inner city."
As one interacts with the media, many would agree. There's gang news and the constant focus on crime ridden neighborhoods. Statistics are cited--- about-one out of fifteen African American males will end up imprisoned.
So how did my son and countless other young African Americans escape the danger of the streets to become brilliant professionals?
Honestly, in my early twenties I could have cared less about becoming a mother until I became one. Staring at my tiny wiggling bundle of human potential in his crib ignited a flickering flame within me-a mother's love burst in my heart, quietly beckoning me to give my son ALL I HAD in order to make him all he could be.
I'm telling you this story not out of arrogance, but I'm sharing with you success principles extracted out of my struggle to be the best mother possible. I'm asking you to find your flickering flame (aka passion) in you, and to vigilantly protect and nurture it, convinced that if you add the right ingredients to it, it will in time become a tamed yet wild fire that gives birth to unimaginable dreams. My son was mine.
A flickering flame cares not about poverty, your troubled past or your brokenness: it only cares that you fan it until it "takes". It will boost your thoughts and drive your actions until your dream becomes reality.
So let me share three success ingredients that nurtured my vision for my son's success.
Belief Based on Evidence
Observation is a powerful tool. Fascinated by my son's make-up, I sent a lot of time enjoying how God made him. One day it became clear he had an interest in science. The Discovery channel often aired shows about medicine. Clips of surgeries being performed intrigued my son while his brother and I were repulsed by such clips.
He told me, "Mom, wouldn't it be great if I could do that?"
Although my passions were different, I believed that he was "wired" for science, and I developed his interest by taking him to science camps, buying interesting books and encouraging his passion. Eventually I was even able to find a Magnet High School which emphasized the sciences and fought to get him in. (There was a waiting list) I truly believed he would do something with medicine because the evidence was observable.
An Accidental Success Team
No one achieves in a world of isolation. Instinctively, I knew this. Both sets of Grandparents displayed constant, unerring love towards my son which lent stability to his life, and also supported me. As a single mother, my vision of success for my son was tangible even though my finances were tight. Both sets of grandparents helped with paying tuition, educational advice and providing experiences I could not.
Teachers and parents also opened my son's world.
I remember Mrs Burr, my son's third grade teacher, reading my face one afternoon as I came to pick up my son from school: I was grieving. I was going through a divorce. She insisted in keeping my son for the weekend. That was one win city thắng lợi of the most memorable weeks of my son's life. He went to see "Disney on Ice" and she took him to church. He talked about that weekend for days. Yes, there are a FEW teachers who deeply care.
Support abounded. I can never express the deep gratitude to the many who regularly supported my son. They developed his skills and worldview which in turn strengthened his confidence to achieve.
Inoculation from Fear
What threatens to snuff out our flame? Excuses.Some of our excuses are lavish and believable. They may have been around for years, and sound something like this:
"I'm too old."
"I need that 10,000 to start up the company."
"I don't have the talent to win that singing contest."
Underneath most of our seemingly most insurmountable problems is fear: the fear of exposing ourselves, the fear of being vulnerable, the fear we don't have what it takes to achieve our dream.
Well here is a confession. I pushed my son very hard to compensate for my severe fears in early adulthood. Although I was a very ambitious person, this condition was a roadblock to the full realization of my dreams. I was oftentimes paralyzed by it, allowing it to snuff out my goals. So, I turned to my son for fulfillment.
Over dinner, a few years back, I asked my adult son, who was attending Xavier University, "Does the process of becoming a doctor ever cause you fear?"
His answer convinced me that my parental choices were helpful for him.
He said, " I get scared mom, often. I'm doing new things all the time, and I wonder if I will fail.
But my PASSION for medicine is more intense than my insecurity, my uncertainty and my challenges!"
Believe in the spark, the flickering flame God has placed in you. Fan it, nurture it. Create a success team to emotionally support you, to hold you accountable and to help staff the areas in which you are weak. Be intentional in asking for help. Get comfortable with stretching into new territory. Yes, it can be fearful, but have faith in the process Do everything to support the maturation of the gift God has placed inside you. Remember that ultimately your passion within you is not for you, but it is for the betterment of our community who is in GREAT need of your insights, ideas and projects. Indeed, the inner city has basketball players but in addition to that there are many with professional brilliance in business, the arts, sciences and education. Believe it and pursue excellence with all your might.
Rosalind Henderson empowers leaders with powerful, research- based strategies to help them transform people problems in the work culture. Fears, poor motivation, lack of self-awareness, unproductive beliefs and negative thinking styles can block achievement, but are transformed through Rosalind's seminars, products and books. She is a John Maxwell certified Leadership coach.